Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Why I hate July and People Hate Me in July

Crazy title I know. I'm skipping the Midweek Randoms post because honestly, I can barely form sentences right now. This month, every July actually, is really rough for me. It's been 12 years since my abortion. If you don't know me then you probably don't know this about me. I feel that I'm pretty open about it. I'm not with my family though. I just don't feel like I should tell them. If that day comes then I'll tell. I already feel like this post is going to be all over the place. July is rough. I'm mean. I'm moody. I'm depressed. I cry over everything. I feel bad for Chris and our kids. I just really need this month to go by. I miss her terribly. I can't even imagine what it would be like to still have her here. I would have a teenage daughter. I always try to think of what she would look like. Brown hair or brown eyes? Blonde hair or blue eyes? Dimples? 

I took a couple off from writing this. I'm having a hard time putting into words what I wanted to blog about. But I just can't do it. 

If I could just ask you one thing? Please pray for me. Commercials, tv show, random things are really setting me off. One minute I'm completely fine, excited that I'm going to the Backstreet Boys concert next month (yeah I know, I'm a dork), and the next I'm curled up in the fetal position crying my eyes out. Pretty sure my kids think I'm crazy. Just pray for peace of mind for me. Thanks.

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